I know that some hockey moms (and dads) hurt inside when they see their youngster struggling. Team coaches seldom have the time or expertise to help individuals with their shortcomings, and even camps and clinics tend to deal primarily with group needs.So, is it possible for a parent to help his or her youngster's game behind the scenes? Could be. Challenge The Old Coach and see...
3 comments:
This is such a great topic. For some reason, my generation hates to see their child struggle or fail at anything. Sometimes we don't see the value in the lesson the child will learn, so we try to fix every little problem. The media uses the term - helicopter parent, because we hover too much over the child, ready to swoop in and save them. I am as guilty as anyone with this.
Thankfully, my children have had great coaches over the years who have said to parents - step back, let it happen; see what they can do or how they'll handle it. My son even had a wise coach who told him to take time off, get out of the rink and clear his head! Something a lot of parents would be afraid to do - for fear the child would get less playing time for skipping a practice or skill. Thus, I think it is possible for the parent to help the child behind the scenes, by communicating with the coaches, teachers, scout leaders, etc. and actually LISTENING to the advice being given. Then, reinforcing the ideas/advice/approach with the child - the united front if you will. Also, as hard as it may seem, over time, we may have to back off a bit, and let the kids make their own choices and suffer the consequences. I know I struggle with this, and probably don't back off enough, but I am learning!
And that is such an unbelievable collection of comments and observations. Not much an old coach can add to that... Er, except maybe... Perhaps lvinay's generation should become "parachute parents" instead? I mean, step back a little -- let the child make some of his or her own choices, let the kids be a little more responsible for some things -- while still keeping one hand firmly clenched on the ripcord!
Both are wonderful comments, and are thought provoking. I am more of a "blimp" parent. Clearly can be seen, of little value other than cheerleading and sponsorship! I've noticed in over 10 yrs of hockey parent time, when I just step back, let the one's in the "know" make decisions, what seems down, will go up, and my being open and supportive always works no matter the drama of the day! I do not micro manage, or second guess. And if they have a coach one year that does not deserve unconditional trust, that balances out, too! My son's have learned that through the hockey process, you will not like every coach you must play for (learn to deal with it~that is truly a life lesson). You will not always like your linemates (again, life lesson!) Are youth hockey players too young to learn life lessons? Hello, no! They learn them in the sandbox! You can't pick your coach, your team, and your parents! What they do learn is more often than not, the most wonderful people are the coaches! The Teammates and the parents! The bad seeds are few and far between! That's just my opinion! And I am open to others thoughts!
I love hockey! I love the wonderful souls who teach and coach! I could never do it~so I don't!!!
SandiHockeyMom
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